I have been dealing with a lot of my stuff coming up this week. Old problems, old pains. Some new ones in the mix, just to spice things up. Old traumas, too. I have felt like my existence is wrong, and that I am letting everyone down because I am not "better". I have felt lost, confused, and so so angry about things.
I have had good moments. They have been there. But at the moment, because I am feeling vulnerable and sad, and a whole mess of other stuff, I can mostly only remember the bad stuff of the week, and the stuff that is to come.
So, even though I just posted yesterday with some links that may interest you, I wanted to do one with links that I turn to sometimes when I am feeling awful, and downright not-okay. Here are a few. I hope they help you, wherever you're at.
A dear online friend of mine, perhaps the first online friend I ever made back when I was in... middle school I think?, shared this link with me when I said I liked the sound of rain, but didn't have the money to invest in one of those sound-makey things. I have since found other ones, but I can't help coming back to this one. It calms me down to hear the rain, and sometimes I put on the cafe sounds, too, if I need to feel safe with other people that aren't going to ask me what's going on. Thanks, Moochi. I love you so much.
This one pairs so well with the rainy noises. I look at it for an instant feeling of coziness and calm. Extra Ordinary comics does a lot of amazing stuff that makes me giggle and smile, which is something that cannot be overlooked at times like this.
An old blog post from Myth & Moor that I return to whenever chronic illness recurrence is getting me down. I believe this was shared with me about a year ago by a spoonie friend, and I have saved it for times when I just feel so beaten down and frustrated that chronic illness is still a thing that I have. This is helpful.
I am going to leave it there, and go find some faerie books to lose myself in. I may do another post like this if it proves helpful for others.